Friday, August 15, 2008

Walter, Seattle debacle, Halo douchebags and black clouds

My youngest son, Walter, has a black cloud that hovers over his head. I could write a post a day for a year about why I believe this is true. A recent trip to Seattle shows how the black cloud is ever present. Here is a little background info (and a video that shows the armor at the end) about why he was going to Seattle in the first place.

He and a few friends make armor (like costumes) designed from the video game Halo. He and a couple of the guys that make the armor were invited to show the stuff off to a group in Seattle (Microsoft people maybe). They want to get a contract (I think) to make this stuff. They were also invited to meet with some of the staff from Bungie Studios (the group that created Halo or something like that). So here is the Cliff Notes version (in bullet points) why his recent trip to Seattle (the debacle) proves the black cloud theory.

  • Arrives at the airport too late to make first flight and is placed on standby. Misses first flight to Seattle due to an inability to tell time (well he can tell time but he doesn't understand the concept) and a few other reasons that shouldn't be discussed.
  • Asked if he has any thing to declare he says yes because he has replica firearms based on the firearms in Halo and they look like real guns (sort of). All of his luggage has to be searched, misses standby flight. Placed on standby again.
  • Almost 2 hours later catches flight and arrives in Seattle 15 minutes before the first flight he should have been on. Sounds not so black cloudish right? Well he would have booked the flight he actually took if he had looked at arrival times. So maybe not so much black cloud as just dumb when it comes to things like that (inexperience).
  • Waits almost 3 hours for the rest of the group to arrive.
  • Car sent to pick the group up isn't big enough for all of them and their gear. They have to wait for a second car (first car is a Lincoln Town Car).
  • Arrive a hotel that he described as a dump (and then clarifies that it might be called quaint but he thinks it is a dump that charges over $180 a night because some call it quaint).
  • Invited to a cocktail party with an open bar and food provided. Again not black cloudish except that all the party goers were really nice to them until they find out Walt and his friends were just invited to show off their armor, then no one would have anything to do with them. Walt and the other guys proceed to eat and drink as much as they could and start calling each other "Halo douchebags" because no one will talk to them.
  • Attend some sort of conference (not sure exactly what kind of conference) at a large hotel, they are dressed in their armor. At some point Walt agrees to wear the armor (this is most likely out of order but I can't remember when it happened but too funny to leave out). Because it is hot his feet swell up. The armor was not really made to fit him, when it comes time to take it off he can't get the leg armor off. They are hole up in some sort of food prep area and they look all around to find something to aid in the removal of the armor. The guys find 'butter balls" and start rubbing them all over Walt's feet. Works OK but not great and when the armor finally gets past Walt's heel his friends tug really hard. Well it wasn't really any where close to coming off and they nearly rip the skin off his toes.
  • Afterwards go into the lobby and are mobbed by people wanting to take pictures with the Master Cheif from Halo (Walt's friend Adam was dressed as Master Chief, see video).
  • Hotel security approach and ask Adam who he is and he says "I am the Master Chief" and the security guy says "SHUT THE FU*K UP WHO ARE YOU?"
  • Guys explain who they are and what is going on. They get hauled off to hotel jail (a closet) while security decides what to do with them.
  • Security lets them go but make them change into "real" clothes (in the closet) before they let them loose.
  • Trek out to find something to eat. Use GPS (on a cell phone) to find a pizza place a few blocks away. Ten blocks later discover that Walt's friend is not reading GPS right and they are about 12 blocks in the opposite direction of the pizza place.
  • Find pizza place only to discover that it had closed down about 3 months ago.
  • Find another pizza place close by, Walt gets the "dragon" pizza.
  • Turns out the "dragon" pizza is so hot no human can eat it but he is so hungry he doesn't care.
  • Eyes water so badly he has to wipe away the tears, inadvertently hits his eye with his finger which has all sorts of the really hot junk from the pizza on it. Eyes turn blood red and won't stop watering.
  • Next day go to Bungie headquarters. Through the wonder of the Internet word spreads like wildfire that there are "some guys" at the Bungie place dressed up like Halo characters (Bungie has some sort of web cam set up).
  • All sorts of screen shots of their visit spread across Halo forums. Not a big deal right? Except Walt's front pocket (the one with his cell phone) has twisted around to the back and he has to reach into his pants to get it turned around which means there are several pictures of him looking like he is "picking his ass."
  • Bungie guys give them all sorts of gear (not really sure what that means but OK). Again, no black cloud thing there right? Well turns out that one of the things they get is armor that no one else has unless they work for Bungie. So Walt tells me the armor is something he can dress his character in when he plays Halo online (don't ask me, I don't understand). He says about 80% of the gamers he plays with think it is cool while the other 20% call him "gay" because they don't believe he has that armor if he doesn't work for Bungie. They think he is a big fake, making some sort of fake armor for himself, a Halo douchebag.

OK, well there you go. You decide if that is a black cloud or just a "kid" that has not experienced enough of life to make the right calls. I say it is a black cloud. Oh I know you are reading this thinking "so what" but I tell you I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants when he told me this story. I am sure there is much lost in translation.

Here is the video. Walt is they guy in the black tee-shrit.

Walt makes the helmets. Here is a short video he posted about the durability of the helmets.

There you go. >ôô<

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About Me

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I love to sew and that is about all I have to say about that. I am not creative but I can follow instructions so I love to re-create all sorts of things. If I am not spending time making "junk" I am hanging out with my family. I also love to take pictures. I will take hundreds of pictures at any event with the hope that I get best picture EVER! >ôô<