Trip to Sam's Club

So we (seven of us) took a trip to Sam's today. OK I bet you are dying to know who went right? It was mom, my aunt Ann (mom's sister), my cousin Leslie (Ann's daughter), Leslie's friend Mai Lan, my son Les, son's girlfriend Emma and I. We took 2 cars even though we all could have fit into my cousin's van but where would we put the junk we bought? (We know better from the last trip we took together). So I am not really a big Sam's fan. I don't really think the savings are that great and you have to buy in bulk. Where in the world am I going to put 24 jumbo rolls of TP, a box of laundry soap that will wash 180 loads, 50 packages of chips and a 1000 napkins? My house is only 1100 sq feet. And I don't have a freezer big enough to hold enough frozen food to feed an army. Nevertheless I can't get out of the place without spending at least $100 and that is because I find some kind of neat thing that I "can't live without" but have to buy IN BULK!
It seams that the only time we visit Sam's is when I have not had anything to eat all day. Sam's always has food samples all over the place (almost as many as Central Market). If you are homeless and can scrape up enough money for a membership then you will never go hungry. So we start on the side that has all the non food items. Of course our party splits up and soon Mai Lan shows up with something in a sample cup. I asked her what it is and she says it is a "hot tamale" Popsicle. Mmmmmmmm that sounds good. I am really getting hungry now so I suggest that we move to the area where the food is. Long story somewhat shorter Emma says there are samples of sausage near the tampons (why????) so off I go. I pass a girl giving out samples of chicken in a biscuit (once again alone everyone is looking at other stuff). Have to stop! So as she gives me the sample she asks "so how is Utah?" I am thinking "what the f are you talking about" until I remember I have on a t-shirt that has a big UT on the front. So I go along with it and say it is great (I have never been to Utah in my life). She says "I always think of weird people living there and never think of anything else." So I figure she is thinking of the LDS or FLDS and agree there are weird people there but it is a really nice place (what the heck I will never see her again and like DUH). I guess she assumed that UT meant Utah. Well if she had looked more closely she would have seen it is a shirt that says Explore UT The University of Texas at Austin. Sample taken have to find the sausage. Follow my nose to something that smells like sausage but turns out to be bacon (I really want the sausage). A very nice, and somewhat mentally challenged, man is standing there with the samples. Now I am thinking that all the sample people have some sort of mental challenge. I look at him, he looks at me and does not say a word. So I ask if he has samples of the bacon. He says "sure, hickory and pepper, I like the pepper better." What the heck, I will try the pepper. It was pretty good but I still want the sausage! Emma shows up about now and says "the sausage is over here by the tampons (again why?) so off I go. By the time I get to the sausage samples the group has reunited. We all get a sample and thank the man, telling him how good it is. I linger while the group wanders away again (I do love sausage and want to pick out a package to take home). Just as the last of my party (and other shoppers) drift away the man says to me "has anyone ever told you that you have the gift of healing?" Like what ????? I say no and he tells me "I can see it, you need to put your gift to use. You shouldn't let a gift like that go to waste." He says "you need to put your hands on people and heal them." What do you say to that kind of thing? I thanked him for telling me and walked away (of course I did get some of the sausage). Let me just say that he was the only sample person that didn't seem have some kind of mental challenge and he had the kindest eyes. He really was serious. When we finally left the store I told everyone what he said. Later my aunt said "put your hands on my leg and make it feel better" so I did in a "whatever" kind of way and she said "no you have to be serious." OK in my most serious healing way I put my hand on her leg, then on her head and said "you are healed." Later my back started to really hurt and she said her leg felt better. Cousin Leslie said "you transferred her pain to your back" (in a very tongue in cheek way). So am I John Coffey "like the drink, only not spelled the same" now? Creepy.